Not important

"Well here I am, don't know how to say this. The only thing I know is awkward silence."

I've been cleaning my room lately, yes lately as in it's taking a very long time, and it's completely overwhelming, exhausting, and surprisingly emotional. I'll just be honest and say my room hasn't really been cleaned in a very long time. So I figured since I'm about to leave for college, and I know I won't want to clean during breaks, this is probably the last time I clean my room before I clean it out permanently when I graduate college and move into my own residence or get married or both. But it's hard to purge my room of everything that's keeping me in the past and holding me captive to all the "what if that had gone differently". I'm finding stuff from freaking 7th grade, things that make me nostalgic and ashamed and induce wistful longing, all at the same time. But lately I've realized that even though I think I have my life completely planned out, that's what I thought then. And things might work out, but it might completely end up in a different direction, and I have to be completely open to that.